First mail day is coming up.

Also.

I ordered some CDs and vinyl in the mail.  I bought some band merchandise by one of my favorite bands right now.  I spent too much, but I’m okay with this.  I shall post pictures.

Vent.

I need to vent for a moment.  First of all, there has been a sharp pain on the left side of my chest (near my heart), and it will not go away.  Usually, I will get these pains and they will stop but for some reason today they are persistent.  I have only gone a short amount of time without the feeling, so I dunno.  If I never write here again I suppose it’s because I have passed.  Now to my venting.

My friend is texting me about her dad wanting her to buy his car and make payments of $300 per month for it.  She’s complaining about how she can’t afford that, and I’m just like I don’t care.  Really.  I don’t.  I’m not sure why, but hearing other people talk about their financial situations irks me.  I don’t care if it’s a good or bad situation.  I feel like your money is a private matter that only you should know about.  I feel like if you are to discuss it with anyone it should be, significant other, banks, or your parents.  But even with those options I still feel like you should be very limited and choosy with your words.  I don’t know why it gets me so worked up, but it does.  My friend and I are pretty close so I know she’s just telling me because it’s stressing her out and she wants my opinion, but I don’t know what to tell her.  I mean, she has two jobs.  She works all the time the problem is that she can’t save her money.  She spends a lot probably more than she makes, which I’m not calling her out on because I do that too.  I think it’s an issue that a lot of young people make.  We are constantly spending more than we make at our low-end jobs, thus we are always “broke” and we “can’t afford” this or that.  The reality of the situation is that if we just saved our money more we could have the things we actually need.  I’ll just use myself as an example and talk about my financial situation even though I just said I hate that.  I may be a hypocrite.  Anyway, I am nineteen years old and I have a really great job.  It’s a job I will most likely only have till I am 23, but that is long enough to save what I need for my future.  I make, at the least, $1,000 a month.  I do not know any person my age who can say that.  I make more in one week than a lot of my friends make in four weeks.  I am not bragging here, I’m just stating some points so it can be understood where I am coming from.  My job allows me to make my own schedule with my own times, so the money is always available provided that I go in and work.  But somehow I find myself in times where I cannot afford to do anything, or barely being able to put gas in my car.  Why is that?  It’s because my job is so laid back that it allows me to be lazy.  I spend more than I am making because I am not putting in the necessary hours to fund my spending habits.  I’m not condoning that I should be wasting money but I’m saying if I would do the efficient work to spend how much I’m spending, then it really would not be an issue.  My friend is spending more money than she makes which is why she’s always broke.  If she would save her money and truly consider if she can afford those new shoes she wants, she would be able to afford her dad’s car.  I don’t know.  I’m not discounting myself here because I do the same shit.  This post is too long.

Honestly.

I have been writing despite this blog not showing much proof of that.  There are a few things I am working on.  We shall see when I decide to type them.

Tonight sucks so much that I really just want to go to sleep at 8:47PM.

Abscence.

I have been away from this blog for a while now.  A lot longer than I ever really intended to be, but hey.  I guess that’s how things work out sometimes.  A while ago, I made some posts about stuff I was supposedly working on and talked about how I would be posting it soon.  Well, that work was never posted and it was really forced into being done.  I went into a dry spell for a bit, so that is why I never put anything up.  Nothing had been coming to mind.  I hate when I force out writings because they don’t sound natural.  Anyway, I have been coming up with some new material and I cannot guarantee when I will finally be posting it.  Holy hell, it just got really hot down here in my living room and I am dying.  Speaking of dying.  I have been in a bit of a funk recently, too.  It has mainly just been this week, but it has sucked all of the same.  I don’t know what it is either.  I was sick earlier this week and towards the end of last week, so I am betting that has something to do with it.  Or maybe I just hit a low point because those do tend to happen sometimes.  IDK.  All in all, I don’t know what the point of writing this was I guess to just put something on the blog.  Because god knows I am starting to hate my other one all over again, and remembering why I made this one in the beginning.

Depression.

I promise there will be more activity here in the days to come.

I have not posted here in quite some time, as I have been working on my other blog.  It still sort of sucks, but it’s coming along better.  Uhm, I haven’t really finished any of my new material.  So, that explains why I haven’t posted any, but I plan on solving that issue this weekend.  Hopefully I’ll get a quite a few new posts in this weekend.

Does it really matter though?  Because all I can see that matters is the mood that is reflected in your eyes.  The mood that I’d so kindly love to influence every day, in every possible way.  Would it be weird for me to tell that I can’t stop thinking about you?  That I’m constantly wondering just how far this is going to go, just how long I am truly going to last.  I want it to last forever and I don’t even know you.